Hustling is a common activity for women, especially those of us attempting to make ourselves more positive and whole in the long run. We work hard, face numerous challenges, and take on other people’s problems (we’re fixers, aren’t we?).
When life gets complicated and confusing, implementing the following daily practices can help you get back into your groove and regain your inner peace.
Mind your own business.
There are three types of business: God’s business, my business and your business. When you spend your time in other people’s business, who’s minding yours? (This may be one of the all time favorite things I learned from Martha Beck.)
Obviously, you can’t control God’s business (hello, snow) and you can’t control someone else’s either (stupid, incompetent boss), so why not focus on the one person’s business you can control (your own).
For example, your 50-year old sister has been complaining for years about not being able to afford her mortgage payments. She asks your parents for money month after month. And yet, at your last family gathering, she announces she and her husband are jetting off to Jamaica for a week to “take a little time off.”
What the heck? you think. Who does she think she is? She can’t afford to pay her mortgage, yet she can somehow pay for a trip to the islands? She is so irresponsible. Etc. Etc.
Whose business are you in?
There is not a damn thing you can do about this, my friend, so get back in your own lane.
Question your thoughts.
Thoughts consume us all day, every day.
The problem is, some of our thoughts create unnecessary stress because – news flash – they aren’t even true.
For example, take this thought: I will never be able to find a new job if I quit the one I have.
This is a belief, not the truth. When we trust every thought, we remain stuck in an unfulfilling life. When we question our thoughts, especially the negative ones, we become free.
Pretty simple, huh?
By rephrasing your limiting beliefs, you open up room for expansion and possibility.
Try this instead: I will find a new job.
Then, start listing ways to support that thought.
My industry is always growing and my job title is in high demand.
I have the qualifications and work experience to be a contender.
I’m great in interviews and like meeting new people.
Yep, I said it. I’m literally telling you it’s okay to judge other people.
All of the things that bug you about someone else are almost always the things you don’t like about yourself. Your mind is a mirror, and judging others is the mind’s way of displacing and projecting your own dislikes to make yourself feel better.
I don’t like the way Sarah talks over people. It’s like she’s afraid she can’t get a word in edgewise.
Perhaps this actually means you’re also afraid of the same thing: being unheard.
Whenever you catch yourself judging others, be sure you check your opinion and see if – somehow – your critique can actually be applied to your own life.
Trust your gut.
Your inner GPS (your gut) is designed to steer you through life, helping you make decisions. If you’ve been asked to do something that, immediately, didn’t sit well with you, it is likely your body felt your response first.
It’s easy to talk ourselves into certain situations (the mind has a tricky way of doing that), but your body knows the truth better than your mind does.
No more “I really should” or “How will they feel if I don’t?” analysis. From the second you have a physical response to questioning, you should start checking in with yourself and how you feel to make the best choices for you.
Read: Skip that date, make a left to avoid traffic, get off your butt and exercise when your body says it’s time.
Change your words.
We put so much pressure on ourselves when we use certain words.
For example, I have to:
- Go to dinner with my cousin when she’s in town
- Volunteer in my child’s classroom
- Work late again tonight.
Instead of feeling forced, changing your “have to” phrases to “choose to” or “want to” takes the pressure off.
I choose (or want) to:
- Have dinner with my cousin when she comes to visit (I only get to see her once a year)
- Spend as much time with my daughter as I can (someday I’ll have an empty nest)
- Get all my work done tonight (so I can enjoy my weekend).
Most of the time your gut will lead the way on this, but by challenging limiting thoughts and paying attention to your judgments of others, changing your words becomes easier. If not, maybe it’s a matter of realizing you’re minding someone else’s business, instead of your own. Ahhhh, yes, each of these steps are connected.
Inner peace isn’t something we’re born with. It takes constant crafting and an inner curiosity. But, knowing the steps to help you ease the tension we all struggle with daily, you’re that much closer to a head and heart that function in a place of love, instead of fear or frustration.
And that, my beautiful friends, is incredibly rewarding… and pretty darn groovy.