In my work, I talk about Big Scary Feelings (BSFs), defense mechanisms, and how to stop living in the problem, or as I prefer to say, how to put on those big girl pants and own your sh*t.
And when I say own your sh*t, I’m talking about ditching the excuses (“I had a bad childhood”) and forfeiting the blame game (“They never respect my schedule”). These nasty little pitfalls are the reason you’re stuck in the same old story you know so well.
In other words, your beliefs are the key as to why things happen to you over and over.
Whether you’re concerned about your health, alcohol addiction, trust issues, or fear of commitment, YOU are the only one responsible for owning your story and creating positive change in your life—even if you come from a troubled past (or present!).
It’s time to own your sh*t.
And let me be clear: nobody gets a free ride in life—even those who appear to have everything delivered to them on a silver platter. We all have sh*t we need to deal with, from breakups to phobias, unhealthy vices and poor judgement. You are not alone, which means your struggle isn’t more special than anyone else’s. What you’ve been through doesn’t define you, nor does it create an excuse to treat yourself or others poorly.
That being said, sometimes life deals you a sh*tty hand, and this is not your fault. What defines you is how you react to crappy situations and deal with it.
When you start to take responsibility for YOU, you will see that you have the power to have a more meaningful, energizing, and fulfilling life—and you get to do it right now, without anyone else’s permission but your own.
I’ve got news for you: no one else is going to do it for you, so it’s time to own your truth.
If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll go first:
I’m addicted to sugar. I tend to have control issues. I get insecure when my fiancé gets quiet or shuts down (FYI, he’s an introvert) and as a result, I get mad and angry and mean. I hate small-talk and gossip, and I often isolate myself so I don’t have to be around people who engage in this. And I go shopping and spend money on sh*t I don’t need when I get stressed.
See what I did there? I owned my sh*t. Because of this, I’m choosing to forge a path of inner growth and self-awareness. Of course, I’ll still get a bit out of whack at times—but by recognizing my part, I’ll learn how to stop, acknowledge my feelings, own my side of the story, and change courses.
And here’s one thing I know for sure…
I may not be able to control everyone else or anything else, but I can control one thing: who I am and how I react when I feel the Big Scary Feelings like insecurity, fear, and jealousy. And I continue to challenge myself (and get support) to become better.
Trust me, it’s not easy. You’ll face plenty of challenges and obstacles along the way—but most of these will come from your inner critic, and it’s up to you to overcome them. In fact, let those Big Scary Feelings be your guide. Let them show you where you need to change your behaviors. Let them see where you need to take ownership of your truth.
Amazing things begin to happen when you take responsibility for those idiosyncrasies that make you feel crazy. You start getting to know the REAL you. You become honest with yourself. You start asking yourself the tough questions and love yourself even in the darkest of places. And when you begin to have a more authentic relationship with yourself, you begin to have a more authentic relationship with others, too.
Own Your Sh*t
So, how do you begin?
You can hire a therapist, take care of your body with exercise and a healthy diet, meditate, work through past grudges head-on with family and friends—the list goes on and on, and it all depends on your own personal needs and behaviors you wish to change. That’s why I created this Get Your Sh*t Together Worksheet:
Think of this as a safe space for you to examine your current behaviors and create goals to overcome them. In it, you’ll have an opportunity to:
Own Your Sh*t: Get honest about what’s not working for you
Accept + Admit: Take personal responsibility and share your truth
Challenge + Commit: Write it down, make a game plan and hold yourself accountable
Your story doesn’t have to be over. In fact, you’re the only one who can change the words.
So, let’s get started. Download my FREE Get Your Sh*t Together Worksheet, and I’ll help you set yourself up for success in 2020!