Ever heard the expression, Men are from Mars and women are from Venus? I’m willing to bet you have. In fact, you’ve probably even said it outloud to someone before.
It’s cute, right? Well, kinda…
Although this age-old metaphor is supposed to be lighthearted, there could be some damaging implications underneath the surface. True, men and women have their differences, but insinuating that they live on separate planets might be a tad extreme—especially when it comes to their feelings.
The preconceived notion that men don’t have feelings has existed for centuries, but this idea couldn’t be further from the truth. Men have feelings, too; they just process their emotions differently. Why could this be? Let’s dive a little deeper…
When you think of the words strong and confident, what images come to mind? For many of you, these two words bring up positive responses. Someone who knows what they want. Someone who’s brave or courageous. Someone who persists, no matter what’s standing in their way. All good things!
But what if I told you these words could imply negative behaviors?
Although this isn’t always the case, some men are taught at an early age that feeling emotions is the opposite of confidence and strength—that showing your emotions is weak. Unfortunately, men aren’t the only ones to project this high expectation, either. Often, women also believe that men are supposed to be tough, resilient, unemotional, financially successful, and high-achieving providers of the household. Oh, not to mention, they need to balance familial relationships, too.
That’s a lot of pressure.
So, let’s do the math. What do you get when you mix overwhelming expectations with suppressed emotions? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the answer…
The Vicious Cycle
Over the years, men have been sold a narrative that tells them that in order to be successful and worthy, they need to hustle, grind, and bring home the bacon at any cost—including the cost of their relationships.
Because men are often expected to be the providers of the household, they believe their 9-to-5 (or 7-to-10) is a form of love for their family. I mean, how else are they supposed to show their love? They’ve been taught over and over again that this is one of the only ways to do it!
Unfortunately, men are completely missing out on connecting and spending time with the ones they’re providing for—something that’s much more valuable than any present, toy, car, or house. Oftentimes, men envision a day when they’re finally able to spend more time with their family…but that point never seems to come.
Here’s why: Remember those expectations I told you about? When you’re expected to be a provider, and your worth is based solely on resilience and work ethic, you feel the need to push harder and make more money. The day never comes when you feel “enough.” Ergo, you spend less and less time with the ones you love. Then, as you become deprived of your family’s emotional support, you lean harder into the things that do give you worth and fulfillment—your work. And so the vicious cycle begins.
Relationship Coaching for Men
Men, if you’re reading this right now, there might be a few reasons why you’re here. Maybe you’re looking to redefine your success, or perhaps you want to learn how to talk about your emotions. Maybe success at work has left you feeling a lack of success at home. If any of this rings a bell, I can help.
When you work with me, I give you a safe, confidential space to relax, express your feelings, break down the beliefs that are no longer serving you, and equip you with the tools you need to mend your relationships (including the relationship with yourself). We’ll talk about where you’re stuck and the results you want—and then we’ll get to work.
Only you have the power to have more meaningful, energizing, and fulfilling relationships—and you get to do it right now, without anyone else’s permission but your own. Click here to contact me for a low-key, no-pressure, no-commitment phone call to see if I’m a good fit for you and to answer any questions you might have.