Even if that means not feeling very good about who you are in the moment.
It’s okay to feel that way.
Even if it sounds like, “I’m not good enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not rich enough. I’m not thin enough. I’m not worthy enough.”
That’s just the “mean girl” talking.
It’s not really who you are; she’s just a lot louder in your head that the voice telling you “you’re great.”
Because at the end of the day, that’s what you really want. To be happy. And feel great.
All without feeling guilt or shame or fear.
Girlfriend, I get it.
I know what it’s like to let my internal insecurities dismantle my dreams.
I was on the fast-track to success; I was competitive and willing to do whatever it took to get ahead.
The only problem: I was in the 7th grade and my competitors were the co-eds in the elite, private all-girls school I attended.
I struggled to keep up academically.
I began telling myself I wasn’t good enough.
And, over time, I actually started to believe it.
This story I told myself began to define me.
Not knowing what else to do, I did what any secretly-insecure 12-year-old girl would do: I hid my unhappiness.
With word-bullying, I hit my competition hard with insults, rumors and drama. This kept the focus off of what I saw as my own inadequacies and gave me attention I wanted. A dangerous defense mechanism many of us use: comparing ourselves to others and then insulting whatever we see as a weakness in them.
And it worked right up until my Lindsay Lohan lifestyle gifted me a suspension (yes, that’s a Mean Girls reference).
With my cover blown, I thought humiliation would suffocate me.
But, the truth is, I was actually relieved.
Exposing myself for who I was meant no more popularity competition, no more personal attacks. I could start over without worrying about social strata or seriously-lacking self confidence.
Gathering the broken pieces of my life, I began to re-write a new script.
A better one.
One that included loving myself, flaws and all.
I learned that joy comes from being honest, vulnerable and exposed.
An unhealthy, unnecessary story that – once rectified – became the beginning of a beautiful life, one where I use my experiences to empower confidence in others.
How cool is that?
I’m Lisa Panos, a recovered Mean Girl turned Life Coach, who helps clients rewrite old, untrue stories and start new chapters in their lives.
Life doesn’t have to be so painful.
Whether you were a Regina George, a brain, a jock, a basket case or a princess, you can step out of the over-simplified, dangerous perception that you have to fit into some stereotypical mold, and be the best you the world deserves to see.
Because there is nothing better than feeling fulfilled simply by being you.
Let me show you how.