Let’s face it…the current coronavirus situation SUCKS. And if you’re not careful, thoughts can snowball fast:
I hate being stuck inside!
My husband and kids are constantly in my space.
I can’t even escape to go to the gym because EVERYTHING is closed.
We’re going to be stuck inside for the foreseeable future.
Oh my God, if this continues, I’m going to lose my mind.
THE WORLD IS ENDING!
See how easy it is to let your thoughts cloud your perspective and spin out of control? As Byron Kate, author of Loving What is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life says, “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.”
So let’s back up a second and try changing our mindset around the coronavirus pandemic. What if, rather than attaching to our negative thoughts, we redirected them instead?
Enter my fail-proof “Own Your Outcomes” model, adapted from the work of Brooke Catillo. No matter how big, scary or dark your thoughts are, this sucker will help you get back in touch with reality.
Now let’s plug in the example from earlier.
CIRCUMSTANCE
There’s a health crisis going on and I’m stuck in the house with my husband and kids.
THOUGHTS
Everyone is in my personal space and I don’t know how much longer I can live like this.
FEELINGS
I feel drained, suffocated, and irritated.
ACTIONS
I’ve been acting like a total b*itch to my husband when he tries to help and I’ve snapped at my kids when they disrupted a work phone call yesterday.
RESULTS
There’s so much tension and hostility in our house that my husband is constantly walking on eggshells around me. My daughters are barely talking to me because they don’t want to upset me.
Using this same exercise, let’s say I change my thought process, even though my circumstances remain the same.
CIRCUMSTANCE
There’s a health crisis going on and I’m stuck in the house with my husband and kids.
THOUGHTS
I’m lucky to be home safe and healthy with my family.
FEELINGS
I am fortunate, grateful, loved and safe.
ACTIONS
Our downtime has enabled us to try new recipes, participate in family game night and exercise together.
RESULTS
We’ve slowed down and spent more time as a family participating in activities we don’t usually have time to do.
See how much your perspective can change when you shift your thinking!?
Richard Carlson says it best in his book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff:
Try getting angry without first having angry thoughts. Okay, now feeling stressed out without having stressful thoughts – or sad without sad thoughts – or jealous without thoughts of jealousy. You can’t do it. It’s impossible. The truth is, in order for you to experience a feeling, you first must have a thought that produces that feeling.
Unhappiness doesn’t and can’t exist on its own. Unhappiness is the feeling that accompanies negative thinking about your life. In the absence of that thinking, the unhappiness, or stress, or jealousy, can’t exist. There is nothing to hold your negative feelings in place other than your own thinking.
Take that statement in for a second. Yes, we’re in the midst of a global health pandemic that’s causing us to stay inside, but YOU have the power to change your negative thoughts into positives and stop stressing over the things you can’t control.
BTW, if you’ve found yourself with more free time lately, be sure to check out the books mentioned in this post along with these other must-reads to change your life.
